anathemad: (Default)
I can't sleep. I'm not really sure why, but it probably has to do with the fact that I should be sleeping.

Things have been pretty good around here, except that we all seem to have the sniffles. I think we all just have a bad case of the Septembers. You know, when it starts to get cold out, the sun seems to disappear at an alarming rate, and thanks to network TV I realize that I am getting old way before my time.

I need to figure out some activities for Ben. All summer we went to the park everyday, and it is getting too cold, and wet to do that these days. There are not a lot of kids around the immediate area for Ben to play with during the day.

It seems to me sometimes like being a stay-at-home mom is something that is so looked down upon these days. When did being a feminist start meaning that you HAD to go out and get a job? When I grew up I was taught that as a girl I could be whatever I wanted to be. Isn't choosing to be a full time mom/wife just as valid a choice as doctor or lawyer? I am so sick of people telling me that I can go back to work soon. Hello! I don't want to go back to work. Well, maybe I'll get a part time job in 10 years, but don't hold your breath.

Ya know what? I know that if I went back to work we could afford a slightly bigger house, a tiny bit quicker - but really it wouldn't make all that much of a difference anyway, not once you pay for daycare, transportation costs, clothes, etc. Last time I checked owning a house was not a prerequisite to having a happy family. Would it be nice, yeah sure. But we are pretty happy here in our little apartment. And yeah, we could afford a much larger house if we moved out to PA, but we don't want to live in PA. I LOVE that Joe can come home for lunch everyday. I love that Ben is so close to his daddy that his whole day revolves around the next time he gets to see him. Is having a big house worth losing all the time and family togetherness? I don't think so. It would add about an hour commute each way, and we'd lose eating lunch together. That adds up to a whopping 12.5 hours a week - 27 days a year less that we'd get to spend time together. Almost a month a year for a house? Nuh uh - I'll take this apartment for as long as I need to.

On another note entirely, I was just wondering how many of you out there had your parents pay for all of your college. I spend entirely too much time watching/reading about how much college will cost for my kids, and how I'd better be saving now. I don't think I know anyone who got a free ride through college. Maybe I am wrong here - that isn't to say that we won't be saving money for Ben, just that I don't think that it should be assumed that we should have to. Isn't that why kids get jobs and have student loans? I know I appreciated my college experience a heck of a lot more because I paid for it.

I really need to get some sleep. I'm now on the fourth album on picture 220. Maybe it would have been easier to have let my parents keep fighting over them.

I was also thinking recently about a number of people that I thought were really good friends, but that don't ever seem to have ANY time to spend with me anymore, not on the phone, in person, or even by email. I wonder if I did something wrong, or if it is because I have a kid now. Mostly I am just upset because they don't ever tell me what it is. I can take honesty - I just hate being blown off. These very busy people seem to always make time for everyone else in their life, and only seem to want me around when they want/need something. Maybe I should just tell them to fuck off. Maybe I am being overly sensitive (it wouldn't be the first time). Maybe I should shut up and go to sleep.

Gnight all
anathemad: (Default)
I can't sleep. I'm not really sure why, but it probably has to do with the fact that I should be sleeping.

Things have been pretty good around here, except that we all seem to have the sniffles. I think we all just have a bad case of the Septembers. You know, when it starts to get cold out, the sun seems to disappear at an alarming rate, and thanks to network TV I realize that I am getting old way before my time.

I need to figure out some activities for Ben. All summer we went to the park everyday, and it is getting too cold, and wet to do that these days. There are not a lot of kids around the immediate area for Ben to play with during the day.

It seems to me sometimes like being a stay-at-home mom is something that is so looked down upon these days. When did being a feminist start meaning that you HAD to go out and get a job? When I grew up I was taught that as a girl I could be whatever I wanted to be. Isn't choosing to be a full time mom/wife just as valid a choice as doctor or lawyer? I am so sick of people telling me that I can go back to work soon. Hello! I don't want to go back to work. Well, maybe I'll get a part time job in 10 years, but don't hold your breath.

Ya know what? I know that if I went back to work we could afford a slightly bigger house, a tiny bit quicker - but really it wouldn't make all that much of a difference anyway, not once you pay for daycare, transportation costs, clothes, etc. Last time I checked owning a house was not a prerequisite to having a happy family. Would it be nice, yeah sure. But we are pretty happy here in our little apartment. And yeah, we could afford a much larger house if we moved out to PA, but we don't want to live in PA. I LOVE that Joe can come home for lunch everyday. I love that Ben is so close to his daddy that his whole day revolves around the next time he gets to see him. Is having a big house worth losing all the time and family togetherness? I don't think so. It would add about an hour commute each way, and we'd lose eating lunch together. That adds up to a whopping 12.5 hours a week - 27 days a year less that we'd get to spend time together. Almost a month a year for a house? Nuh uh - I'll take this apartment for as long as I need to.

On another note entirely, I was just wondering how many of you out there had your parents pay for all of your college. I spend entirely too much time watching/reading about how much college will cost for my kids, and how I'd better be saving now. I don't think I know anyone who got a free ride through college. Maybe I am wrong here - that isn't to say that we won't be saving money for Ben, just that I don't think that it should be assumed that we should have to. Isn't that why kids get jobs and have student loans? I know I appreciated my college experience a heck of a lot more because I paid for it.

I really need to get some sleep. I'm now on the fourth album on picture 220. Maybe it would have been easier to have let my parents keep fighting over them.

I was also thinking recently about a number of people that I thought were really good friends, but that don't ever seem to have ANY time to spend with me anymore, not on the phone, in person, or even by email. I wonder if I did something wrong, or if it is because I have a kid now. Mostly I am just upset because they don't ever tell me what it is. I can take honesty - I just hate being blown off. These very busy people seem to always make time for everyone else in their life, and only seem to want me around when they want/need something. Maybe I should just tell them to fuck off. Maybe I am being overly sensitive (it wouldn't be the first time). Maybe I should shut up and go to sleep.

Gnight all

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anathemad

December 2015

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